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第九章表姐来支招了!
    华诤回到家时,家人都睡了。第二天起得晚,下楼吃早餐时,父母亲和姑姑都出去买东西了,只见表姐Cindy穿着牛仔裤和T-shirt,光着脚丫子,一只腿踩缩在椅子上,正对着餐桌坐着吃东西呢。
    “Hey,&nbspMatty,&nbspfinally&nbspget&nbspup,Ah?”
    比华诤大一岁的表姐Cindy岳思思是ABC,也就是传说中的“香蕉人”。她短发烫得卷卷地贴着头皮,瘦瘦的,皮肤故意晒得比较黑,眼睛很大。这种外貌在美国可是很吃得开的——美国人以为,东方女孩就应该长得又黑又立体才叫有神韵。
    她打的招呼让华诤不好意思地抓抓头发。宋云贞正从院里进来,关上门,回身对华诤道:
    “哟,大宝贝儿,起了?”
    站在华母旁的菲佣,用生硬的中文道:
    “少爷吃什么早餐?”
    “随便”
    华母道:
    “那和姐姐一样吃牛奶面包?”
    “好,谢谢奶奶”
    华母接过菲佣手里的餐盘,边把早餐放在餐桌上边道:
    “昨天怎么这么晚才回来?”
    “Granny,&nbspHe&nbspdefinitely&nbsphad&nbspsome&nbsplast&nbspnight.”
    Cindy的脸对着外祖母解释,眼睛却是看着华诤挤眉弄眼。华诤有点怀疑自己的英文水平:
    “I&nbspdidn’t&nbsphave&nbspanything&nbsplast&nbspnight.&nbspI&nbspcame&nbspback&nbspand&nbspI&nbspwent&nbspstraight&nbspto&nbspsleep.”
    Cindy十指张开,双掌在耳朵两边朝外举:
    “&nbspEww~Liar!&nbspWhatever&nbspyou&nbspsay&nbsp.&nbspHey,&nbspWhatever&nbspyou&nbspsay!”
    华诤觉得自己肯定跟表姐有什么误会,拉开椅子坐在她对面:
    “I’m&nbspnot&nbsplying.&nbspI&nbspdon’t&nbsphave&nbspto.OK?FYI,&nbspwhat&nbspdo&nbspyou&nbspmean&nbspwhen&nbspyou&nbspsaid&nbspI&nbsphad&nbspsome?&nbspHad&nbspsome&nbspwhat?”
    “SEX!&nbspOf&nbspcourse!”
    华诤一口牛奶喷在餐桌上。
    Cindy笑着接道:
    “What&nbspdo&nbspyou&nbspthink&nbspI&nbspmean?”
    华母忙过来给他拍着背:
    “怎么了?宝贝,慢点喝!吃饭不要说话嘛。”
    华诤边抽张纸捂嘴咳嗽,边朝祖母摆摆手、示意她不用帮忙。华母便拿了抹布来擦桌子:
    “你们姐弟俩说什么呢?”
    华诤忙道:
    “没什么,没什么。”
    “It’s&nbspOK&nbspto&nbsphave&nbspsex,Matty,&nbspyou&nbspdon’t&nbsphave&nbspto&nbsplie.&nbspI&nbspget&nbspit——You&nbspare&nbspa&nbspgrown-up,&nbspyou&nbspare&nbspin&nbspa&nbsprelationship,you&nbsphave&nbspsex.That’s&nbspwhat&nbsppeople&nbspdo.&nbspHey,&nbspI&nbspbet&nbspyour&nbspgirlfriend&nbspmust&nbspbe&nbspreally&nbspawesome&nbspto&nbspkeep&nbspyou&nbspthat&nbsplong.&nbsp”
    华诤连连朝表姐摇手:
    “We&nbspdidn’t&nbsphave&nbspsex.&nbspWe’ve&nbspnever&nbsphad&nbspsex.”
    “Whaaaat?!”
    Cindy看华诤的眼神,让华诤觉得自己就像来自侏罗纪世界的恐龙。
    “You&nbspserious?&nbsp”
    “Yeah.&nbspWhy&nbspwould&nbspI&nbsplie&nbspsomething&nbspabout&nbspthat?”
    华诤顿了顿,既然表姐这么光明磊落,他也不想做个萎缩怕事的人,便露出一个无奈的苦笑,坦白道:
    “Although&nbspI&nbspreally&nbspwant&nbspto.&nbspTo&nbspbe&nbsphonest&nbsp,&nbspIt’s&nbspkilling&nbspme!&nbspYou&nbspknow&nbsp,the&nbspwhole&nbspNO&nbspSEX&nbspthing.”
    “So&nbspyou&nbspare&nbsphot?”
    “What&nbspdo&nbspyou&nbspexpect?&nbspI’ve&nbspnever&nbsphad&nbspsex&nbspin&nbspmy&nbspentire&nbsplife.&nbspLook&nbspat&nbspme,&nbspSis.!&nbspI’m&nbspalways&nbsphot!&nbspOK?&nbspHowever,&nbspmy&nbspgirlfriend,&nbspshe’s&nbsptoo&nbspshy.&nbspI&nbspdon’t&nbspwant&nbspto&nbspscare&nbspher&nbspoff.”
    Cindy深感自己和这个表弟在文化上的差异鸿沟深深,两人根本鸡同鸭讲:
    “Hey&nbsp,Matty,&nbspSweety,&nbsplook,&nbspyou&nbspgotta&nbsphave&nbspsex&nbspwith&nbspyour&nbspgirlfriend,&nbspyou&nbspgotta&nbsphave&nbspWILD&nbspsex&nbspwith&nbspyour&nbspgirlfriend——that’s&nbspwhat&nbspboyfriends&nbspdo.That’s&nbspwhat&nbspwould&nbspkeep&nbspyour&nbspgirlfriend&nbspcloser.&nbspI&nbspcan&nbspensure&nbspyou&nbspthat&nbspyou&nbspare&nbspnot&nbspthe&nbsponly&nbspone&nbspwho’s&nbsphot.&nbspWomen&nbsphave&nbspneeds.”
    “Really?”
    Cindy翻了一个“那还用说”的白眼,把脚放下来,正襟危坐,好像要准备谈什么事关国计民生的国家大事:
    “I’m&nbspa&nbspgirl,right?&nbspI’ve&nbsphad&nbspboyfriends.&nbspI&nbspgot&nbspa&nbspsay&nbspin&nbspthis&nbspstaff.&nbspYou&nbspgotta&nbspbelieve&nbspme,Matty,&nbspmark&nbspmy&nbspwords——Women&nbsphave&nbspneeds.&nbspJust&nbspgo&nbspand&nbspmeet&nbspthe&nbspneeds.&nbspMake&nbspyour&nbspwoman&nbsphappy.”
    华诤觉得表姐背后放着万道金光——简直就是上天派来拯救他的天使!
    “But&nbspI&nbspdon’t&nbspknow&nbsphow&nbspto&nbspbring&nbspit&nbspup.&nbspI&nbsplove&nbspmy&nbspgirlfriend&nbsptoo&nbspmuch.&nbspI&nbspdon’t&nbspwant...”
    “Wow&nbspWow”
    Cindy&nbsp双掌向外,像在推着什么东西:
    “Wait&nbspa&nbspminute,&nbspMatty,&nbspMathew,&nbspMatt&nbspWa.&nbspWait&nbspa&nbspminute!&nbspYou&nbspsaidaaa&nbspyou&nbspLOVE&nbspher?&nbspAre&nbspyou&nbspsure?&nbspLove&nbspis&nbspa&nbspbig&nbspword.&nbspWe&nbspdon’t&nbspuse&nbspit&nbspunless&nbspwe&nbspreally&nbspfeel&nbspit.”
    “Yeah.&nbspI&nbspcan’t&nbspbe&nbspmore&nbspsure.&nbspI&nbsplove&nbspher.&nbspEver&nbspsince&nbspthe&nbspfirst&nbsptime&nbspI&nbspsaw&nbspher,&nbspI’ve&nbspbeen&nbspfalling&nbsplove&nbspwith&nbspher.&nbspActually,&nbspas&nbspdays&nbspgo&nbspby,&nbspI&nbsplove&nbspher&nbspeven&nbspmore.&nbspLook,&nbspShe&nbspis&nbspthe&nbspsweetest&nbspgirl&nbspI’ve&nbspever&nbspseen.&nbspIf&nbspanything,&nbspI’m&nbsphopelessly&nbspand&nbspdesperately&nbspin&nbsplove&nbspwith&nbspher.”
    Cindy脸绷紧了,眼珠子在瞪大的眼眶中转了转:
    “Wow,&nbspOK.&nbspLoud&nbspand&nbspclear.&nbspGreat.&nbspGood&nbspfor&nbspyou,&nbspMatty!&nbspGood&nbspfor&nbspyou.&nbspSo&nbspyou&nbspare&nbspin&nbsplove.&nbspDoes&nbspshe&nbsplove&nbspyou&nbspback?”
    提这一茬,华诤有点黯然神伤,耸耸肩:
    “Well,&nbspI&nbspguess&nbspnot.&nbspI&nbspdon’t&nbspthink&nbspso.”
    伸长手臂拍着表弟的肩膀,Cindy慢慢道:
    “Hey,&nbsphave&nbspyou&nbspever&nbspheard&nbspthe&nbsppoem?”
    “What&nbsppoem?”
    “’To&nbspbe&nbspwith&nbspa&nbspwoman&nbspwho&nbspdoesn’t&nbsplove&nbspyou&nbspback,&nbspis&nbspmore&nbsplonely&nbspthan&nbspto&nbspbe&nbspalone’”
    为这句话,姐弟俩默哀了几秒钟。华诤想起什么,拍拍桌子道:
    “Focus!&nbspSis.&nbspFocus!&nbspAnyway,&nbspI&nbspdon’t&nbspwant&nbspto&nbspmake&nbspthings&nbspweird&nbspbetween&nbspme&nbspand&nbspmy&nbspgirlfriend.&nbspAre&nbspthere&nbspany&nbsptips?&nbspAnything&nbspwould&nbsplead&nbspus&nbspto```&nbspyou&nbspknow?”
    “OK”
    Cindy摊摊手,笑道:
    “You&nbspare&nbspfamily.&nbspTechnically,&nbspyou&nbspare&nbspmy&nbsplittle&nbspbrother.&nbspI’m&nbspyour&nbspbig&nbspsister.&nbspAnd&nbspI&nbsplove&nbspyou.&nbspI&nbspdo.&nbspHence,&nbspI&nbspwould&nbsphelp&nbspyou&nbspout&nbspwhenever&nbspyou&nbspneed&nbspme.&nbspFirst&nbspof&nbspall”
    Cindy&nbsp右手从左手心里扳出一个手指头:
    “You&nbspgotta&nbspget&nbspa&nbsproom&nbspfor&nbspyou&nbsptwo.&nbspBe&nbspalone,&nbspfor&nbspGod&nbspsake!&nbsp”
    不过,鉴于中美意识上的差异,Cindy还是不放心地补充问了一句:
    “Is&nbspyour&nbspgirlfriend&nbspOK&nbspwith&nbspthat?”
    华诤点点头:
    “Yeah.&nbspI&nbspcan&nbspmake&nbspthat&nbsphappen.”
    “OK.&nbspSecondly,&nbspthere&nbspis&nbspa&nbspstory&nbspwhich&nbspwould&nbspmake&nbspyour&nbspgirlfriend&nbspwant&nbspto&nbsphave&nbspsex&nbspwith&nbspyou&nbspvoluntarily.&nbspHowever,&nbspYou&nbspgotta&nbspstate&nbspit&nbspright.”
    有这么神奇的事?
    “What&nbspstory?”
    华诤正以空前绝后高涨热忱的态度在学习,大人们就回来了。华珮进门时,远远听到他们两姐弟的话,便喝道:
    “思思,你忘记我们之间承诺了?在家不准说中文!”
    岑兰笑道:
    “是不许说英文吧?”
    华珮笑道:
    “唉,都被她气糊涂了。是,不准说英文!在家不准说英文!”
    岳思思站起来,华诤抓住她的短袖阻止她离开:
    “什么故事?”
    岳思思为难道:
    “对不起,你姑姑不准我说英文。我不知道用中文怎么说,我中文不好,我不会翻译。”
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